Book review: The Namesake

While it may appear on the surface to be a cultural voyage / family saga, Jhumpa Lahiri’s first novel, The Namesake defies such simple definition. It is, rather, a skilled and multi-layered exploration of identity, acceptance and belonging, which gave me cause to reflect on the different worlds we inhabit and the names we have to live up to.

The first 32 years of Gogol Ganguli’s life are spent trying to forge a path between the values lovingly instilled by his Bengali parents, Ashima and Ashoke, and his own experiences of growing up in suburban America. As the title suggests, in Gogol’s endeavors to ‘fit in,’ he feels let down by his peculiar and awkward name. Neither Bengali or American, the name is bestowed on him as a ‘pet name’ while his parents wait for his ‘proper name’ to arrive by post from his grandmother in Calcutta. But, through a series of unfortunate events the letter never arrives and the name, Gogol, sticks. For his parents, this mishap represents a lesson learned:

‘They’ve learned that schools in America will ignore parents’ instructions and register a child under his pet name.’ (p.61)

For fourteen year old Gogol, the origins of his name – Russian writer, Nikolai Gogol whose work is of special significance to his father, Ashoke – only adds to his growing sense of resentment towards it.

He hates that his name is both absurd and obscure, that it has nothing to do with who he is, that it is neither Indian or American but of all things Russian. He hates having to live with it, with a pet name turned good name, day after day, second after second.’ (p.76)

The book is, as you would expect, laden with pertinent, and often heartbreaking, examples of Gogol rejecting aspects of his cultural heritage. Equally though, it is about how we relate to our parents in the process of becoming who we are. It made me think about my own experiences of getting an education and setting on a different path to my family, albeit with their moral support. I began to react, implicitly and overtly, against some of their values and life choices, creating a distance that has never been fully overcome. I therefore appreciate the sensitive way in which Lahiri represents the dilemmas and the inner conflicts experienced by the children (in this case, of migrants) and, equally, their parents who sacrifice so much.

Lahiri’s writing is beautiful, vivid and textured, as you’d expect from a Pulitzer Prize winning author. But, like Ashima trying to recreate her favourite Calcutta street snack with a concoction of American ingredients, I couldn’t help but feel there’s something missing.

The plot is fairly simple. It works insofar as Lahiri is not trying to tell an extraordinary tale about exceptional people. She is grappling instead with the very ordinary and universal question about what it means – or what it takes – to accept ourselves (and all the things that make us who we are). But it lacks momentum.

Perhaps the biggest let down is the character development. Ashima and Ashoke are described in such authentic detail that I felt this was as much a book about their journey as it was about their son’s. But I am far more ambivalent towards Gogol himself. Despite bearing witness to the many different phases of his life, he is so often sulky and distant that I never really felt anything more than token amounts of sympathy towards him. Other characters, but especially his female partners, appear superficial and clichéd. The telling of Gogol’s relationship with his sister is, frustratingly, uneven. 

Despite these shortcomings, I would recommend The Namesake as an enjoyable piece of literature. Its reasonably short chapters deliver a satisfying read on daily train commutes to work. For me, it made a perfect companion for a winter escape to the country. 

Lahiri, Jhumpa. (2003) The Namesake. Fourth Estate, London.

Travel piece: Prague

Here are my recollections of four nights spent in Prague in May 2013.

We arrived in Prague from Berlin. Not fully appreciating how easy and relaxed train travel is in Europe, we got to Hauptbahn Hopf with plenty of time to spare. With no check-in or customs to worry about, we waited in a very clean café, eating fresh pretzels and milky coffee until it was time to go.

When booking this leg of the trip online from Australia, we decided to indulge in first class tickets. As far as I can tell, there is very little difference between first class and economy, but for one important detail: the average age of the patrons. And so we came to be waiting at the top of the platform with an army of grey nomads who appeared to be part of a tour group. Once the train arrived, the more senior among us carefully negotiated the small step up and shuffled along the corridor with their large cases. I was worried that German punctuality would leave us stranded on the platform, but we eventually climbed aboard with only moments to spare.

The train ride was very comfortable, and the four-and-a-half hours passed quickly. The German countryside is beautiful. Being a sunny Sunday afternoon, we saw flocks of people riding their bikes and boating along rivers, and villages built between sheer cliff faces and plush green meadows.

As we approached Prague, however, idyllic scenery gave way to industrial eyesores and derelict apartment buildings. My husband, who had found his spirit home in the orderly streets of Berlin, looked slightly off-colour as he asked ‘Why did you want to come here, again?’ I was beginning to ask myself the same question.

Feeling a little deflated, we got off at the main station, took a crowded metro train to Muzeum and jumped on the green line to the Mala Strana. We walked about 600m from the station to our apartment, rolling our cases past the old Castle walls. Our spirits began to lift as we caught glimpses of how beautiful this city actually is.

View from Prague Castle

Veronika, our incredibly friendly and helpful airbnb host was there to greet us. Our apartment was amazing – very modern, comfortable, in a great location – and the view over rooftops towards Petrin Hill were to die for!

Veronika sat us down with some maps and took us through a few of the must-see places, which largely consisted of her favourite pubs and cafes in the area. While she assured us that dining in Prague is slowly getting better, she cautioned against the many tourist traps throughout the city where we’d invariably pay ludicrous prices for reheated frozen food.

Bolstered by such great local knowledge, we wondered whether four days would really be enough. We decided to start exploring right away!

The view from Mala Strana towards Charles BridgeTurning right from our apartment, we walked less than 100m to the Charles Bridge. Despite being cram packed with tourists, the views across the Vltava River left us speechless. Walking into the Old Town via rambling cobblestoned streets, passing ornate Medieval, Baroque, and Renaissance buildings, street vendors, buskers and beggers, we immediately felt as though we were in another world: this was the Europe we had dreamt of as children.

Dinner was at a traditional Czech pub near the apartment. We arrived late, having battled our way through wind and rain, only to find the kitchen had just closed. Perhaps taking pity on us, the waiter offered to fix us some braised beef cheeks and spicy sausages, which came served with a creamy mustard and fresh grated horseradish. Not a bad slap-up meal, which we washed down with a large glass of Pilsner Urquell.

Despite this perfect introduction, it took only a couple of days until Prague began to get on my nerves. I know it sounds pathetic, but I kind of got sick of its picture perfect beauty. It began to feel like an extravagant stage show, with the same cardboard cut-out tourists, hawkers and buskers passing us by. Surely not everyone here was on holiday. I wondered where the locals were. I found myself looking for something authentic.

On our third night, just when I thought I couldn’t take it any more, things took an unexpected turn, literally. We boarded a tram we thought would take us to a restaurant Veronika had kindly booked for us. Skirting around the city walls, we found ourselves in the middle of a residential area. Realising the tram map we had must be out of date, we tried to decide whether we should get off or stay on and see where we ended up. It was hard to judge. We were now the only tourists aboard. Outside, all we could see were rows of ugly grey concrete apartment buildings and desolate streets. On the other hand, the tram wreaked of piss and the guy behind me, who had been quietly talking to himself most of the way, was now beginning to sob uncontrollably. I looked across at another man opposite, and saw he had a bloodstained bandage on his head and was fidgeting with his broken finger.

Things suddenly felt very real. We got off the tram, certain we were now in a very dodgy area, wondering if we’d make it back alive. Of course we did, and without incident. But the experience gave me a better insight into the city. This side of Prague was very different to the majestic tourist center, but at least now I knew where some of the locals were.At sunrise

Despite struggling to find my groove in Prague, I have such fond memories almost a year later. We had many fantastic experiences there, but the one that will stay with me forever is getting up at 6am to enjoy the sunrise from Charles Bridge. I had it almost all to myself. Basked in a soft gentle light, everything looked serene and so quiet.

I think that anybody who gets out of bed that early should get to own the bridge for the day. But, alas, when I re-emerged a couple of hours later, I had to negotiate a zig-zagged path into town through the hoards of other tourists trying to capture this extraordinary place. This too is an essential Prague experience.

Prague in a nutshell …

Getting there:

From Berlin, German Railways (DB) run services hourly. The trip takes 4 hours, 41 minutes and costs about AUD$100 (or 65 euro) one way.

W: www.bahn.de

Where to sleep:

Veronika’s apartment, for about AUD$120 per night. Sleeps two.

W: https://www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/591540

Where to eat:

Our absolute favourite place to refuel was at café called Cukrkávalimonáda (Sugar, Coffee Lemonade), which is on a quiet street behind the main tourist area of the Mala Strana. The small range of fresh and simple pastas were the best I’ve ever tasted. Visit a few times and you’ll be treated like a local.

W: http://www.cukrkavalimonada.com/en/

Where to drink:

Hemmingway Bar. Add it to your bucket list. Do it now. This place is amazing.

W: http://www.hemingwaybar.cz/bar-prague/

What to see:

Be sure to make your way to the Old Town Square at midday to see the Astronomical Clock in all its glory. Then grab yourself an overpriced beer at one of the nearby pubs and spend the afternoon people watching.

What to avoid:

Restaurants with a view, unless you’re willing to pay through the nose for frozen food.

Sing for your life

I often wonder how I got to be such a bad singer.

As a kid, I sang all the time. I was in the primary school choir, and I still remember the thrill of going up on stage at eisteddfod to collect the winner’s trophy on behalf of my classmates.

By the time I went to high school, I had lost the choir connection. I don’t recall making a conscious decision to stop singing, but I started to feel self-conscious about it in the way teenagers do about almost everything that separates them from the crowd.

Year 7 music classes were something to be endured. 30 kids with recorders wrangling the melody of Hot Cross Buns to the unappreciative audience of one: A stern, joyless teacher, who obviously hated young people.

I moved with the pack towards drama instead.

From this point on, singing became something I did in private. I’d carelessly belt out a tune while cooking, driving or in the shower. I’d wake up with songs in my head, or revert to my staple soundtrack of random tunes collected over a lifetime, which just needed to get out somewhere over the course of a day.

I knew I had lost the knack though. This was confirmed when my partner (without meaning to be explicit or mean about it) started cranking up the car radio to drown out my sound!

Twenty years since my last choir practice, browsing through a catalogue for the Melbourne Centre for Adult Education (CAE), I stumbled across a course titled ‘Singing for Beginners Only.’ It was marketed as being ‘for the inexperienced but passionate singer’. Within minutes, I had gone online and confirmed my booking.

And that’s when the terror set in!

What was I thinking? Surely by ‘beginners’ they really mean people with some identifiable (albeit, underdeveloped) talent. That’s not me. My singing is terrible. Besides, it wasn’t like my inability to hold a note is really holding me back in life. I could live with being good at other things. Surely this was an unnecessary humiliation. I began reading the cancellation policy…

But, in all honesty, I was too intrigued to pull out. And, so, I found myself a few short weeks later in a room full of about 12 others who looked just as nervous and uncertain as me. In facilitating initial introductions, the instructor asked us to share why we had chosen to do the course and what we hoped to get out of it. While our motivations and objectives were quite different, we all felt poorer for the fact that singing was no longer a relaxed or natural part of our everyday lives. In our society, it has become an esoteric activity, most often associated with the ‘performing arts’ rather than casual, collective expression. Otherwise, it was linked to individual stardom via Australian Idol, X Factor, and other such shows.

I found this discussion fascinating, but after a quick run through the anatomical theory of vocals, it was time to start singing. Our first track: The Beatles, Come Together. 

We all huddled around, staring at the bizarre lyrics on the sheet like it held the key to take us back to our comfort zone. But as we got a few beats in (‘Here come old flat top, he come grooving up slowly…‘), something changed. I can’t remember the last time I sang as part of a group. I felt my focus move away from my individual ability, to listening to the people around me and making sure I was keeping up them. I realised that, by about halfway through the song, everyone was singing and smiling.

We sounded okay. It felt electric. I was hooked!

And so for the next 7 weeks, I found myself hanging out for Tuesday night. Each week, we learnt a new technique, which we’d apply to a new style. Jazz, rock, country, soul, classic ballads. We rolled through them all, getting a little more confident every week. I’d leave every class feeling light, happy, and humming a new tune on my way to the station.

Week 8 arrived before I knew it, and it was time to deliver our solo performances.

I’d chosen to do Better Be Home Soon. The Crowded House classic was one of my favourite songs as a kid. I listened to it on my walkman, rewinding the tape over and over after each play. It was also the song that was playing in the car on the way home from the vet after we had to have my cat put down. I got him when I was 4. I was 18 when he died. I was a mess, but I sang softly through the tears.

Fortunately, there were no tears on this occassion. At the start of the course, I had envisaged I’d fall victim to the same gut-wrenching fear I get every time I have to deliver a speech. But I actually felt excited. It was just a song. One simple song, which only went for two-and-a-half minutes. And the audience was bound to be sympathetic; we were all in the same boat after all.

Standing up in front of the class about to sing, the adrenalin kicked in and I was off. It wasn’t a perfect performance, but I sang it loud, stayed in the right key, and managed to remember all the words off by heart. It was over in a flash. The applause was louder than I expected and took me by surprise. I took my seat, shaking a little bit. Wow! It was all over. I felt as though I was listening to the instructor’s feedback through a closed window. I was still coming down from the high. It all seemed positive. But the thing I was proudest of was just having a go. And I was really proud of my classmates too. We’d come a long way!

Now that I’ve got music back in my life, I don’t want to lose it. I’ve taken up ukelele lessons and I’m looking around for a choir to join. It’s totally addictive. I just wish there were more opportunities to express ourselves through music as part of our ordinary lives.

I’d rather sing a song than deliver a speech. Who would’ve thought?

If you’re interested in giving it a go and you’re in Melbourne, I can’t recommend this course highly enough: http://www.cae.edu.au/web/?course=HWN899

FebFast: Walking (not stumbling) across the finish line

It’s finally March. FebFast is complete. I did it!

FebFast: I did it!

Thanks everyone who supported me. And I hope some of you will consider giving it a go for yourselves next year.

I’ve put together some answers to some FebFast FAQs, which I’m just gonna put here for anyone who’s interested.

1. Was giving up alcohol such a big deal for you?

Yes and no.

Yes because I’ve never consciously gone without alcohol before. I’m also not all that good at following the rules of total abstinence, hence why I suck at dieting! And I love to drink. I love the flavour of alcohol. Drinking a good gin martini is as ceremonious and relaxing for me as a pot of herbal tea.

No because I don’t drink that much anyway. None of my friends are heavy drinkers and, in any case, I don’t feel all that pressured to indulge in social situations.

2. So, why bother?

First and foremost, because it’s for a good cause. The money I raised through FebFast goes to YSAS to help support vulnerable families and young people tackling serious alcohol and drug issues.

I also liked the thought of using February to detox after the silly season.

And I wanted to support a work colleague who was doing it. Having someone to do it with has been wonderful.

3. Do you feel healthier?

Honestly, not really. Perhaps my skin is a bit clearer. And I have been sleeping well. But I haven’t transformed into some incredible fitness fanatic or super-synapsed girl genius, much to my disappointment.

Homer

4. So, what did you get out of it?

I think what I’ve gotten out of it is a more thoughtful approach to drinking. I realised how often I drink for no real reason, without considering the non-alcoholic alternatives. While this may not be a problem for me at this point in my life, I think it’s good to be aware of the devastating impacts alcohol has on some individuals, families and communities. No one is immune.

4. When will you start drinking again?

A few people suggested I stay up until midnight and raid the liquor cabinet!

I didn’t.

But I will enjoy a nice glass of red with dinner tonight.

Memory like a fish

FebFast: The halfway point

14 days into FebFast finds me, ironically, celebrating Valentine’s Day at a gastro pub in Footscray.

Temptation is everywhereStone cold sober, I have managed to resist the extensive range of craft beers and red wines, which would go perfectly with what is possibly the best steak I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.  My lemon lime & bitters is really not cutting it.

BUT… It’s only for a month, It’s only for a month, It’s only for a month.

This is a low point in a month without alcohol, which has for the most part been okay. With my FellowFaster, I mark off each day of abstinence on a calendar stuck to the back of my chair at work. Mondays are great because we get to tick off three days at once.  Weekdays whiz past. But Friday afternoons are always the worst. For us both, being denied opportunity to end the working week with a quiet drink seems in breach of our basic human rights. But we’re getting by, harbouring only a little resentment.

In social situations, my decision not to indulge has been fairly unremarkable. The only exception being when some friends of ours began to speculate I was in the family way!

It’s not that there haven’t been temptations. Oysters and champagne, anyone? But I’ve been  creative.

Having friends over for dinner, I enjoyed red pomegranate iced tea served in a pretty wine glass while they indulged in the real stuff. Bunadaberg ginger beer on ice with fresh lime matched a friend’s pear cider one evening after work. And, at a funky bar in the city, I got through cocktail hour with a delicious and non-conspicuous apple mojito (basically, apple juice, mint, and soda water with ice).

Finding less sugary alternatives to alcohol has been the real challenge. As someone who doesn’t generally drink soft drinks, I was worried I was replacing a moderate drinking habit with pre-diabetes!

Honestly, there hasn’t been a noticeable improvement in my health, but last week I got a text message from My Liver (scribed by the FebFast team, I assume) saying it feels ‘liverated’. So that’s something. My sugar-laden Pancreas may not be feeling quite so pleased.

FebFast – My pledge to give up alcohol for 28 days

Although I’m not generally one who believes in New Year’s resolutions, in 2014 I am aiming to say YES more often. By saying YES, I plan to keep things fluid, take on new challenges and maybe even surprise myself.

So, when a workmate suggested I join her in doing FebFast, I had only one thing I could say.

FebFast is a 28 day challenge to take a break from alcohol (or sugar, or caffeine, or digital devices).  Money raised through sponsorship helps tackle youth addition. Equally important, giving up booze for the shortest month of the year is bound to have positive impacts on my physical and mental health, not to mention my back pocket.

Be that as it may, as January was drawing to a close, I had to work through a couple of things to decide if it was really for me.

For starters, I wondered whether it would be enough of a challenge? I’m not a big drinker anyway. And I’m pretty sure I’ve had longer stints of sobriety in the past. On the other hand, the thought of doing the digital detox – or not being able to tap away on my tablet and/or phone in front of the telly in the evening after a long day at work – sent shivers up my spine.

The other thing is I’m not a big believer in abstinence. Everything in moderation, I say. I typically only drink 1 or 2 nights per week, and I usually have the equivalent of only 1 or 2 glasses of wine each time. Of course, there are exceptions: I have indulged a little more than usual over the summer months; I do love a good gin martini (and can’t guarantee I’ll stop at one), and; a little treat on a Friday evening does help to smooth my way into the weekend. Generally, however, I’m comfortable with how much I consume.

Despite this, a couple of recent events had opened my eyes.

Last year, I’d spent about 6 weeks in Europe and one of the things that really stood out was how Europeans of all ages drank responsibly. Despite the fact alcohol was usually cheaper than soft drink, the only person we saw who had obviously lost control was a young American girl in the piazza of a small Tuscan village. In contrast, sitting in a pub in Prague, we saw a group of locals who were probably about 10 years younger than me enjoy no more than 2 or 3 beers over the course of 2 hours. They were not rowdy (as I knew their Australian counterparts would be), there was no race to the bottom of the glass, and alcohol did not appear to be the focus of their interaction.

Back home, in the lead up to Australia Day, there was opportunity to reflect on national attitudes towards alcohol. Working in drug and alcohol policy, I know the alarming stats on alcohol consumption in Australia, which have follow-on consequences for rates of family violence, assaults, and accidental death or injury. In recent months, the media’s attention has turned to the prevalence of ‘alcohol-fuelled violence’ in public places. Predictably, the national conversation has centered on young people, but I firmly believe that it’s a cross-generational issue, which can’t be solved with more government regulation alone. Reflecting on my travel experiences, there must surely be something at the heart of how we drink, and why we drink, that needs to be addressed.

Finally, on a personal level, I had fallen out with a long-time friend who had developed a significant drinking problem. Contrary to the stereotypes, my friend was not a young male with limited prospects, but rather an immaculately groomed, highly paid professional in her early 30s. Once charismatic, funny, and intensely likeable, she was needy, attention seeking, and kind of aggressive. It had gotten to a point where I never saw her sober, and it had become impossible to coax her into doing anything that didn’t revolve around alcohol.

And so, with all this in mind, and my newfound propensity for saying YES, I’m all signed up to do FebFast.

I plan to use this blog to track my progress over the coming weeks. I hope you’ll stay tuned.